What a world we might have, had Samuel Colt turned his attentions elsewhere. Instead of Colt’s Patent Fire-Arms Manufacturing Company, we might have had Colt’s Patent Office Equipment, a different and more benign repository for his ambition, ingenuity, and artistry. Young men might still come of age united in a shared love of elegant engineering, but without the tragedy.

Or would his aggressive tendencies have outed? Would we have had (fig. 1) the Colt staple remover, for wrenching staples with minimal tearout; (fig. 2) the Colt letter opener, a standard two-edged dagger sized to the No. 10 envelope; (fig. 3) the Colt hole punch, able to perforate as many as fifty pages at once, powered by standard .22 cal cartridges; (fig. 4) the Colt paperweight, whose 18.5 lb heft could subdue both errant foolscap and stubborn bindings; (fig. 5) the Colt business card holder, with locking spring system for quick repeat ejection; (fig. 6) the Colt tape dispenser, with spring-loaded single-action weighted guillotine; (fig. 7) the Colt pencil sharpener, in the form of a serrated drop-point blade with self-sharpening scabbard; and (fig. 8) the Colt draw-action repeat-fire stapler, with an effective accuracy of 100 yards, for either office or range use?

Published January 24, 2023. Copyright © 2023 Jonathan Hoefler.