Making carbonated water at home has always been a fraught endeavor. I suppose we should be grateful for today’s SodaStream and Aarke machines, whose worst offense is the hideous, flatulent sound that should never emanate from a kitchen; things were worse in the past.

Those soda siphons of slapstick fame, the ones whose glass bottles were wrapped in chainmail, were so designed because they were actually prone to explode. And before that, the Victorians had a bulbous contraption known as the ‘gasogene’ (or ‘seltzogene’), a strangely voluptuous glass dumbbell that contained water in one half, and tartaric acid and sodium bicarbonate in the other, utilizing the same scientific principle that you did when you made the clay model of volcano for the fourth grade science fair. And often with the same Vesuvian results.

These are some turn-of-the-century devices that trace their mechanical roots back to 1767, when Joseph Priestley first found a way to infuse water with carbon dioxide. These were designed for domestic use, though perhaps for grander homes that had service downstairs, as they were susceptible to all manner of mechanical failure. Some of these used compressed CO₂ canisters, whose lead solder was rarely up to the task of containment. Others relied on chemical reactions, whose reactants routinely lost their potency. At least one used trinitrotoluene, until its supply was revoked due to wartime rationing. I’d love to have any of these in my home, alongside the chic ecm espresso machine that I also don’t use, and the grand Dualit toaster that I think pulls ten amps per slice.

Published December 23, 2022. Copyright © 2022 Jonathan Hoefler.