Grete loved the house in Jutland, where the crisp breezes off the Mariager Fjord combined with the gentle rustling of the beech groves to create a soothing, resonant hum that perfectly cancelled out the droning of her brother Harald. It would take two more generations of Jørgensens to capture this magical quality in a device that could travel with the family back to Copenhagen.

It was a long road to success, though even some of their diversions had been rewarding. An early version of the device stumbled into generating the 300 kHz tone that kept the greater wax moth at bay, a discovery they successfully commercialized in a 2 kHz generator to repel bats, and a 110 kHz version for mice. When Grete’s children discovered that both bands were used by the harbor porpoise, they refocussed their efforts on the human domain, where the controversial practice of ‘acoustic deterrence’ was beginning to gain purchase. (In classrooms, crafty students evaded their teachers with high-pitched ringtones that were inaudible to their elders  — fair turnabout for the way municipal governments used ‘mosquito tones’ to keep teens out of public spaces.) Finally, in 2016, the Jørgensens found the perfect cocktail of frequencies to hush Harald’s ceaseless mansplaining at last, forever banishing his halfwitted ramblings into the warm hush of white noise.

Relations began to fray when a third generation of Jørgensens took over the family business, and a bitter rivalry emerged between two first cousins born a generation apart. The older pushed the company to develop appliances to quiet the upspeak, vocal fry, and sexy baby voice of the new generation, while her younger cousin marshaled all of the company’s resources toward the singular aim of quieting grandma’s unheadphoned iPad in public.

Published December 27, 2023. Copyright © 2023 Jonathan Hoefler.